Mishka has a friend named Dimka, a charismatic man with a successful career trajectory and a good income. Fluent in a couple of languages, he seems to have it all. Yet, despite his apparent success, Dimka often appears tense — a consequence of overwhelming stress. Living alone, he eventually meets Nastya, a bright and beautiful woman with an excellent education and cultural refinement. She too experiences stress and lives independently. Watching them navigate adulthood is painful, so Mishka decided to introduce them to each other.
Initially, their relationship flourished; they even began living together, a promising start. But soon difficulties emerged, and now, it seems their bond is on the brink of collapse.
“What’s wrong?” Mishka asked while pouring tea into their cups.
“Uh, um…” Dimka hesitated. “She seems… not feminine enough! Always arguing, taking offense over trivial things, constantly wanting something, and busy with her own matters. This is not what I dreamed of!”
“What exactly do you mean by feminine?” Mishka inquired, sitting across from him.
Dimka pondered, gazing into the distance.
“First, she must be yielding. Willing to compromise. For instance, if I say we go right, she should agree instantly, not insist on going straight. No arguing!”
Mishka nodded, maintaining a composed expression.
“Understood. What else?”
“Secondly, understanding attitude,” Dimka said emphatically. “If I yell, it’s not because I’m bad. It’s because I’m in a bad mood. She shouldn’t take it personally but rather calm me down.”
“Like a mother, then,” Mishka remarked with a gentle smile.
“Not a mother!” Dimka objected. “A woman! A compassionate woman!”
“Of course—sorry. Go on.”
“She should ask less! Not always demanding things like pizza, pastries, or even stockings. I’m happy to buy her a treat, but it should be because I want to, not out of obligation. Simply wait until I’m willing!”
Mishka observed his friend with interest.
“How long does it usually take? A month? Two?”
“That’s not the point!” Dimka grew irritated. “It’s about care; I want to feel she cares about me. If I buy her a pastry, I want to see she appreciates it.”
“Like a daughter, then,” Mishka concluded.
“What daughter?!” Dimka was shocked. “What are you saying?”
“Nothing, just listening.”
“She should hide nothing!” Dimka elaborated. “If she’s meeting a friend, I want to see the messages, so I know there’s no deception.”
“Got it,” Mishka sipped his tea. “Caring like a mother, obedient like a daughter. If you find someone like that, how will you manage intimacy? This sounds like incest from all sides.”
Dimka flushed.
“No, no!” he exclaimed. “An adult woman — mature, wise, responsible!”
Mishka expected the financial topic next.
“First, she shouldn’t be a financial burden! She shouldn’t expect me to pay for everything. I feel used otherwise!”
“Right,” Mishka commented. “A special daughter who listens but doesn’t need feeding. Nice.”
“You don’t understand!” Dimka objected. “Second, she shouldn’t count my money or question spending. I feel like a financial inspector!”
“Even better,” Mishka said. “A mother who cares but doesn’t monitor.”
“Are you mocking me?!” Dimka slammed his fist on the table.
“Not at all. I admire your logic.”
“We are adults and should split everything 50/50!” Dimka insisted. “If she wants coffee and I don’t, she can buy it herself. The same goes for taxi rides. I might lend money if she lacks it, but she must repay me — I keep records!”
“Sounds like you need a roommate,” Mishka summed up. “Splitting rent, sharing cleaning duties, having separate fridge shelves, and alternating bathroom cleaning.”
“Exactly!” his friend agreed. “Fair is fair!”
“Wait, how does this relate to femininity?” Mishka pressed.
“It’s the essence! Someone reliable, who supports equally, shoulder to shoulder!”
“Alright,” Mishka concluded. “A loyal companion who cares like a mother and obeys like a daughter. Now I understand femininity, thanks.”
A week later, Mishka met Nastya at a cozy café. She appeared tired but carried herself with grace.
“How are things?” he asked.
“Wonderful,” Nastya answered sarcastically. “Living with a man acting like a six-year-old but demanding king-like treatment.”
“Explain more.”
“What irritates me most?” Nastya chuckled bitterly. “He wants me independent, but only in areas not concerning him. Yet, everything concerns him.”
“For example?”
“I can’t choose the restaurant or movie because he has strong opinions. But I must buy my tampons myself because that’s a ‘woman’s concern’ and makes him uncomfortable.”
Mishka smirked.
“He demands romance,” Nastya continued. “To him, it means I prepare dinner, he lounges on the couch, then graciously agrees to intimacy. The initiative must come from me; otherwise, he doubts my desire.”
“Makes sense,” Mishka nodded. “And if you don’t want to?”
“It doesn’t matter. If I refuse, I’m frigid. If I agree, I’m promiscuous. The golden middle lasts only five minutes monthly when his mood is good.”
“But his attitude toward money amazes me most,” Nastya leaned back. “Everything must be split perfectly. I pay for my food, taxi, clothes, entertainment.”
“Fair enough,” Mishka agreed.
“Especially fair when I spend three hours cleaning his apartment for free or cook two servings, and he eats only his half, insisting I pay for my groceries.”
“And how do you respond?”
“I keep a ledger,” Nastya pulled out a notebook. “An hour of cleaning is 500 rubles; cooking dinner, 1000 rubles; washing his shirts, 300 per piece; sex, 2000 per occasion, because I professionally simulate pleasure.”
Mishka almost choked on his tea.
“Seriously?” he asked.
“Did you expect otherwise?” Nastya laughed genuinely. “If we play capitalism, let’s be fair. He owes me 78,000 rubles now.”
“The funniest part?” Nastya added. “He honestly believes he’s progressive because he doesn’t insist I stay home and have children.”
“Generous of him.”
“Even more! He lets me work, but only so long as it doesn’t interfere with his comfort. I must be available whenever he wants attention, support, or someone to vent on.”
“And when you’re upset?”
“I can’t be upset,” Nastya feigned surprise. “I’m a woman! I must be a source of harmony and peace. If tired or sad, then I’m doing it wrong.”
“Wrong?”
“Yes! A proper woman is always cheerful, supportive, eager for intimacy, and never selfish.”
Mishka shook his head.
“What will you do?”
“What can I do?” Nastya shrugged. “Keep playing the house geisha, supporting myself, or find another way. By the way… do you need a girlfriend?”
“Me?” Mishka was surprised.
“Yes. You’re a normal man. You don’t expect a woman to be simultaneously a mother, daughter, lover, and comrade.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Do you demand that?”
Mishka reflected.
“Honestly, I don’t. I think a woman should just feel comfortable with me, and everything else will fall into place.”
“See,” Nastya smiled proudly. “Your friend is just after a universal robot with intimate functions.”
“Right,” Mishka agreed. “But the problem is, robots don’t yet know how to love.”
“Maybe that’s for the best,” Nastya suggested. “Imagine if someone fell for him and he handed her a list of demands.”
They laughed together.
“You know what I realized?” Nastya said, finishing her tea. “Dimka isn’t looking for a woman. He’s searching for a mother to care for him without control or demands. A daughter to obey and admire him. A lover always ready. A comrade who splits all expenses. And a maid who cleans for free.”
They laughed again.
The week passed tensely. Mishka sensed the inevitable ending. On Tuesday morning, Nastya called.
“That’s it,” she said briefly. “I’m moving out.”
“When?”
“Packing now. Can you come? I need moral support.”
Mishka arrived within half an hour and found Nastya packing books into boxes. Neatly folded clothes lay on the couch.
“Where’s Dimka?” Mishka asked.
“At work. I’m leaving keys and a note. No strength left to explain.”
“What does the note say?”
Nastya handed him a sheet. Mishka read: “Dimka, the relationship is over. Keys on the table. The bill for services remains. Your former housekeeper, cook, lover, and comrade.”
“Harsh,” Mishka commented.
“He deserved it,” Nastya replied coldly.
Dimka stormed into Mishka’s apartment the next day, flushed with rage.
“Can you believe what she did?” shouted Dimka. “Ran away like a thief and left a stupid note!”
“I saw the note,” Mishka answered calmly.
“And what do you say? She’s lost it! What’s this 78 thousand for? Living in my apartment?”
“For housework, I suppose.”
“What housework?” Dimka waved his arms. “She cleaned for herself! Cooked for herself! I never forced her!”
“True,” Mishka agreed. “But you ate the food she prepared and lived in the place she cleaned.”
“So what? We lived together. That’s normal!”
“Then why should she pay for her food?”
Dimka faltered.
“That’s different! We agreed to split everything 50/50!”
“Including housework?”
“What housework?!” Dimka protested again. “Women love cooking and cleaning! It’s their nature!”
“Yes,” Mishka nodded once more, “the nature of unpaid labor.”
“You’re mocking!” Dimka slammed the table again. “I thought you’d understand me, but you’re on her side!”
“I’m not taking sides,” said Mishka. “Just trying to follow your logic.”
“There’s no logic! She’s a bitch! I did everything for her, and she…”
“What exactly did you do for her?”
Dimka was at a loss.
“Allowed her to live in my apartment! Shared a bed with her! Took her to restaurants!”
“At her expense.”
“So what?!” Dimka was boiling. “What did she give me in return? Just problems! Always unhappy, always something wrong!”
“Perhaps your demands were contradictory?” Mishka suggested.
“No contradictions!” Dimka roared. “I want a normal woman! Understanding, caring, independent!”
“One who obeys you, cares for you, and supports herself.”
“Yes! What’s wrong with that?”
Mishka shook his head again.
“Go find her then. Maybe you will.”
Three months passed. Dimka continued searching, meeting new women, stating his terms. Yet, they disappeared quickly.
Nastya stayed. She rented a room at first, then Mishka invited her to stay with him temporarily while she searched for another place. Time passed, but she did not look for a new home, and Mishka hadn’t reminded her.
One evening, Nastya worked on a project at the kitchen table.
“Do you know what’s strange?” she confided.
“What?” Mishka replied, washing dishes.
“With you, I cook because I want to. With him, I cooked because I had to.”
“What’s the difference?”
“With you, I make dishes I like and know you appreciate. With him, I made what he demanded, and it was never right.”
Mishka dried his hands and sat beside her.
“Anything else?”
“I spend money on what I want with you, without fear of control.”
“And I won’t control you.”
“I know,” Nastya smiled. “That’s why I want to spend on us both.”
“Nature is clever,” Mishka mused.
“How so?”
“When a person isn’t forced, they want to do good willingly.”
Nastya closed her laptop and faced him.
“Are we dating?” she asked quietly.
“Don’t we?”
“We just live together and feel good.”
“That’s dating,” Mishka laughed. “Or you want a marriage certificate?”
“No,” she laughed too. “I just want things to stay like this — comfortable and happy.”
“They will,” Mishka promised, kissing her.
Half a year later, a worn and annoyed Dimka stopped by.
“All women are crazy!” he declared. “Finding a sane one is impossible!”
“What happened?” Mishka asked.
“Met someone smart and pretty. We dated for a month. I explained what relationships should be like. Guess what she said?”
“What?”
“That I’m seeking a servant with intimate functions! Can you believe the nerve?”
“I believe it,” Mishka nodded.
“Another said I need a mother, not a partner! Rude!”
“Dimka, have you considered that the problem might be your demands?”
“What problem?” he scoffed. “I suggest honest, equal relationships! Equal sharing! No exploitation!”
“Equal sharing, but not housework.”
“Women love cooking! Cleaning! It’s…”
“Nature, yes. Heard that before.”
At that moment, Nastya entered the kitchen. Surprised, she raised her eyebrow seeing Dimka.
“Oh, hi,” she said. “How are you? Found a new victim?”
“Very funny,” Dimka snapped. “Looks like you settled in well!”
“Settled in?” Nastya smirked. “I live with a man who treats me as an equal. Try it; you might like it.”
“I’m looking for equality!” Dimka protested.
“You want convenience,” Nastya corrected. “Different things.”
“Alright,” Mishka intervened. “Dimka, good luck with your search. We’re off now.”
“Where to?” Dimka asked.
“The theater,” Nastya answered. “Premiere night.”
“Who pays?” Dimka teased.
“None of your business,” Mishka replied.
Nastya linked arms with Mishka.
“Let’s go before we’re late.”
Meanwhile, Dimka kept searching for the woman who could be simultaneously mother, daughter, lover, and comrade — caring but not controlling; obedient yet independent; self-sufficient yet without personal needs.
He wondered endlessly why all women turned out to be “wrong.”
Conclusion: This story vividly illustrates how unrealistic expectations and contradictory demands can undermine relationships. Dimka’s search for a perfect partner, blending conflicting roles and behaviors, leaves no room for genuine connection. Nastya’s experience reveals the strain of navigating unequal demands disguised as fairness. Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect, understanding, and realistic expectations rather than impossible ideals or transactional attitudes.